I recently gave some advice to someone wondering how to start blogging again after a long break. I suggested she “just start writing again” and take it from there. So I am taking my own advice. It’s been a while since I have done a round up of what is going on, or written anything personal so here goes…

Family time at Center Parcs

Feeling Lost 

I feel like I have lost my way recently. I struggle to focus on work, don’t know what to say on social media and I’m not talking to friends. It’s not all bad though, a picture of my feet on Threads had over 800k views and resulted in a free pair of sandals (thank you Salt-Water Sandals I am so happy to add a red pair to my collection).

I can spend a week planning content and carefully editing, but a quick snap of me stupidly wearing an odd pair of sandals captured the attention of thousands. I got comments from people who couldn’t work out how I had managed it, people loving the sandals and an odd few who focused more on my toes than the shoes. But there was also a huge number of people showing solidarity and sharing when they had left the house in odd shoes too. Because for all the bad things about social media, it can be great at bringing you together with “your people” who will laugh with you and show you support. Whenever I get disillusioned, someone reminds me there are wonderful people out there. 

Parisian rooftops

Travels and Sickness

June started with an unexpected trip to Paris to visit my mum in hospital.  I have visited Paris before and have a passable understanding of French so although it was a little weird being on my own, I felt comfortable. 

I spent much of my time exploring Southern Paris. At one point I wandered up to North of the river through the touristy areas with the intention of doing some shopping, but I quickly returned to the calmer, quieter areas. I explored parks and enjoyed the street art and cafes. One of the surprises was the number of people who spoke to me in French. Normally the assumption is I am a tourist and so English is spoken first, off the beaten path I was stopped several times and asked for directions or the time in French.  Being in my forties (and overweight and unattractive) offers a level of luxury while out solo that I didn’t experience when I was younger: I can blend in. While I am constantly aware of the risk of muggings and random attacks (when I am on my own), I generally don’t feel as vulnerable to unwanted approaches by men anymore. Which is nice.

A few days after returning home I was very much in demand by men, or by one little man in particularly. Poor BB had a horrible bug, it only lasted a couple of days, but he was burning up and unable to even keep water down. The entire time he wanted to be in constant contact with me or his Dad. At one point he really had us worried, but then Friday morning he woke up feeling normal. It’s amazing how children can bounce back like that, in the early hours of the morning he still had a high temperature, but the fever broke and he was ok again. Saturday morning he even managed to have the energy to attend a learn to cycle session.

Learning to ride a bike

Getting Moving 

As parents we should be able to teach our children things and while I hope my children learn from my modelling of ethical behaviour and compassion, practical things like cycling and swimming seem to be beyond us. BB is the third of my children to have 1 to 1 cycling lessons at Redbridge cycling centre. For our family it makes sense to pay for them to be taught the useful skill without the frustration and shouting that would happen if I tried to teach them. It also has the benefit that you can borrow an appropriately sized bike and you have a good flat location. My eldest managed it in one session, but she was a little older, it took Little two and BB has cracked it after three. 

I love that now my children are older we can enjoy more active activities together. Near the end of June we spent the weekend at Center Parcs thanks to an inset day on the Monday making it better value for money (while holidays at Center Parcs can be crazy money, off peak weekends aren’t as bad). For the first time we all had bikes, and although BB’s had stabilisers, it was lovely to get around easily. When we went last year around the same time Little had just learnt to cycle. She found it so frustrating that she picked the bike up at one point and threw it into the bushes. It remained chained up for the rest of the weekend. This year she was confidently cycling around. 

We spend a large chunk of our time at the pool when at Center Parcs. My children love splashing about and the Subtropical Swimming Paradise is great. Unlike some other places you don’t need to book or pay extra to use the pool. The temperatures were forecast to be high on Saturday so inside activities and swimming were the best way to stay cool. I also booked bowling which happened to be one of the few places in the resort that has air conditioning. On the Sunday, as well as the pool, we played Badminton and did Geocaching which I really enjoyed, although the latter included an unexpected amount of walking. 

I Need Fixing

I am finding it frustrating at the moment as my mobility has been reduced for the last 6 months. I can’t do anything that involves using my left arm to reach or lift (so even my swimming is one armed). Despite physio it seems to be getting worse, and it’s just one more part of my physical and mental health deteriorating. I’ve been logging my symptoms and finally went to the doctors at the end of June and asked them to “sort me out please, I’m broken”.

The doctor asked the “what do you think is wrong with you?” question they seem to ask these days, knowing that people will have been googling their symptoms. I said that I knew they were all perimenopause symptoms, but also that I’m only 43 (which is early). The doctor said he didn’t think it was perimenopause because I don’t have hot flushes. I would have accepted him saying it was unlikely because of my age, but ruling it out due to hot flushes annoyed me. Anyway he sent me for a range of blood tests looking for deficiencies and thyroid problems. They all came back in normal range so I booked another appointment.

Back at the doctors I saw a different GP. She said my list of symptoms was what she would expect to hear from someone in her 50s and given my previous blood results she thought perimenopause was likely, but she wanted to check for B12 and Folate deficiencies too. The problem is to check my FSH and LH levels (which can indicate menopause starting) I need to come off the Progesterone pill I take to reduce my menstrual migraines. After a few years of having to remember to take a tablet first thing in the morning, I am now having to remember to forget to take a tablet. This has lead to me feeling I have forgotten something for the last few days. It’s still going to be a while before I get any answers and probably longer until I start to feel normal again, but I at least feel that there is a plan. And I do like a plan. 

Heading To Essex Mega Camp for a weekend of fun

End Of Term

Our schools and clubs are winding down for the summer with lots of extra activities. This year both of my younger children are members of Scouts (Cubs and Beavers). June saw Little going to Mega Camp with thousands of other Cubs in Essex where she got to hang out with her friends for the weekend and get involved in a range of activities. I would have loved to have done this when I was younger, but back then girls could only be in Guides which seemed to do more art based activities. 

The following weekend both BB and Little went to go the Cubs and Beavers fun day at Gilwell park. From inflatables to rafting, climbing and laser quest to sledging, they had a great time. And G and I had a great time too as we got to spend the day chilling: having a leisurely drink and lunch. It’s the first (and probably the last time) their Cubs and Beavers activities have been at the same time allowing us some adult time together. It was nice to make the most of it. 

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