Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Back with a Bump

What do you mean you didn't notice I was gone? And you over there, what do you mean, who am I? Maybe it's time for some reintroductions. I'll go first.

My name is Kate. Unfortunately that isn't unique enough for social media so on Instagram and Twitter you will find me under the cunning pseudonym @EssexKate. It's inventive huh? 

Guess where I live? Yep, Essex. Just on the edge in a lovely place called Loughton. Once upon a time it was much less known than the neighbouring Chigwell. Now Loughton has become famous thanks to TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex well illustrates some of our residents, but isn't representative of everyone. My skin for instance is closer to the colour of milk than an orange. I also don't say "reem", "vajazzle" or "well jel", well maybe the last one).

Since the last time I was blogging my personal life has changed a wee bit. I am no longer with my husband (sad face) but I have a lovely supportive partner we'll call G (big smiley face). Yes there is a story there, but too many people are still too raw for me to share.

My beautiful daughter M is now 4 years old. She continues to drive me crazy, make me laugh, fill me with warmth and make me cry. I wouldn't change her for the world.



Family photograph by Leah Van Zyl

I have a bump. It's quite big now. In fact I'm just about to finish work for a year. By which I mean the paid work that I commute to every week day. As anyone who has had a baby knows the real work is the kind that is 24/7 and involves a small crying, pooping bundle of awesomeness. That work is meant to start at the end of January.

It's been a tough few years. My life plan laughed in my face and went skipping off to a theme park. I was made redundant a year after coming back from my last maternity leave. I got a new job. I decided I wasn't happy with the new job, and got another one at the same place. The people I work with now are lovely, supportive and generally a great bunch of people who work very hard. I work for the NHS.

To accompany all the job changes my marriage broke down. I used to believe marriage should last forever and you should work at it no matter what. At some point I had to choose between staying in my marriage and finding a way to be happy again. I chose me.

Choosing me wasn't without it's drawbacks, the biggest of which is now I only have my beautiful daughter 50% of the time. It is great that her Dad wants to be involved, but I miss her whenever she's away.

It has taken my daughter a long time to adjust to the separation and she still says things like "I wish you and Daddy lived together", but she is settled, happy and doing well. The challenging behaviour as she starts to realise the possible impact of having a younger sibling is creeping in though.
32 Weeks and a bump
32 weeks and a silly face
I've spent a lot of time reflecting on how I got here. Trying to truly appreciate what I have, how lucky I am, what is great about me and my limitations. I don't want to forget the past and I don't want to make the same mistakes again. 

So there are 10 things about me. Just a quick "Hello" really. Feel free to say "hi". I look forward to catching up with you all now I'm back.


“MumofThree
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5 comments

  1. Good to see you're in a better place once more :)

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  2. And of course congrats on being bumpy

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  3. Oh well done to you - I think putting ourselves first is the biggest hurdle of all. Best of luck with bump.

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  4. Hello! It's difficult to put our personal happiness and well-being ahead of others, but well done on making a positive decision - and best of luck with the bump. #loudnproud

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  5. What a lovely post. It sounds like you've had a lot of changes, but you're bouncing back (in a very big way if that photo is anything to go by!). Good luck with the new baby.

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