Are You A Lucky Person?

Do you think of yourself as lucky? In a group chat recently some people described themselves as unlucky and it got me thinking. These weren’t “oh woe is me, the world hates me” type of people, they were the “unlucky things keep happening to me, but I just get on with it because life is what it is” sort, in fact I would normally have called them positive people.

A girl holding an armful of winning tickets from an arcade machine
Good luck or is she lucky?

I’m not sure I have ever really thought of myself as lucky or unlucky. I guess I have always thought those that see themselves as unlucky are possibly depressed and definitely unhappy people and those who think luck is on their side are positive go getters, but is that really true? The conversation in the group chat made me think otherwise.

I believe that how we interpret our current situation depends a lot on our attitude and approach to life as a whole for instance if something bad happens we can see it as: just one of those things, a one off, something we caused to happen or something the universe made happen to us.

I would describe certain scenarios as lucky eg a lottery win, but I think we make this luck happen, you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket. Those people who are getting better work opportunities than me? Yes there is some luck involved, but the harder (and smarter) you work the more likely you are to succeed.

I don’t really count my blessings and a gratitude diary is not for me, but most of the time I don’t wallow in the bad things either. In fact one of the key signs that I am going into a depressed episode is that I start to believe I’m useless, my life is awful and there is no point in doing anything. If I really think about it I guess I do see myself as lucky though. Throughout my life things have had a way of working themselves out and I have always done ok, but I believe in balance so I live in fear of the bad catching up with me, mainly losing those I love or them getting a horrible illness.

If I really think about it there are bad things that have happened to me in my life, but so far I have always fallen on my feet. I have been lucky, but I wouldn’t call myself a lucky person. It always feels like I am on borrowed time. Even writing this makes me feel like maybe I am bringing something bad upon myself.

Why is it so hard to feel proud of our successes in life? If I believe events are normally effort plus luck surely I should have a reason to say “look at this great thing I’ve done”? I doubt you have ever heard me say that though, unless I am being sarcastic. I don’t even feel that. Generally when I feel proud it’s through reflected glory on the achievements of my children, family or friends. I feel proud of them, for them.  As for me, I feel I am average.

I shared the feeling that I am average with some friends and a lot of them felt the same (about themselves, not about me). This was surprising because when I think of them they all have amazing features. I think so many of us have been brought up in a culture where we don’t really compliment others and where it is not the done thing to share our successes, so much so that we have forgotten what actually makes us special. It’s particularly hard for those of us that have given up good careers to be at home with children. The image we have of being a great mum is not realistic so we a comparing ourselves to something we can never compete with and it is hard to find our own identity.

At a (virtual) blogging conference on Saturday I listened to a session about building your own brand, but it left me feeling that there is nothing about me to shout about, I have no USP. I do ok with blogging and in life; better than many in some ways, worse in others, but there is nothing I could say I am amazing at. If I was to write a press release about me right now I wouldn’t really be selling myself. There is one thing in the world I know I am good at, something even previous managers who didn’t like me reluctantly said I am good at, I even have a business plan to focus on that, but I right now I don’t have the time to develop it.

Excuses, excuses. Yes I could work on the business now, but I am realistic about what I can achieve without feeling overwhelmed and now is not the time to give up on this blog and my socials (which I love) to work on it, and currently they are the only things I could stop to make time (assuming sleep, occasional house work and looking after my children aren’t optional).

So for now, I’m just another mummy blogger. One with decent numbers of readers and followers, but not one that is ever going to be a household name. For now I’ll be average, but one day soon I’ll be a success.

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