Raising Kids in the Age of Algorithms: A Rant… And Some Solutions

Children now have access to an online world from an early age

Collaborative post by another author.

If you’re a parent today, you’re probably no stranger to the phrase: “Mum, can I watch YouTube?” or “But everyone on TikTok is doing it!” I get it; screens are everywhere, and honestly, they’ve become babysitters, educators, entertainers and influencers all rolled into one.

But here’s the thing that keeps me up at night: who’s really raising our kids: parents or the almighty algorithm? Let me break this down. And yes, this is part rant, but I promise, I’ll offer some useful solutions too.

The YouTube Trap: Harmless Fun or Subtle Programming?

I used to think YouTube Kids was a safe space, until I sat down with my child to watch what they were actually watching. Within minutes, I saw a whirlwind of unboxing videos, toy reviews, screechy voices, and strange cartoon knockoffs that somehow manage millions of views…

The worst part is that as soon as one video ends, another starts. And another. And another. The algorithm never stops. It’s designed to feed your child what they’ll keep watching, not necessarily what’s good for them.

These recommendations don’t just reflect your child’s interests, they shape them. Suddenly, they want to collect surprise eggs and Labubus, mimic influencers or start a channel themselves. It’s not inherently evil, but when your child’s personality starts resembling a YouTube personality more than their own, it's time to pause.

TikTok: The Fast-Food of Ideas

Now let’s talk TikTok, because yes, even pre-teens are sneaking onto it. It’s addictive. It’s entertaining. And it’s full of trends, slang and behaviours that spread like wildfire.

But the speed at which things change on TikTok is staggering. One week, it’s slime videos, the next, it’s “corecore” aesthetics or prank trends involving unsuspecting strangers. Kids aren’t just consuming content, they’re adapting their identity to match it.

The algorithm here works in powerful ways. The platform’s rapid-fire format and deeply personalised feeds can expose children to mental health risks, long before parents even notice something’s wrong.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

We’re not raising kids in the same world we grew up in. Back then, we worried about cartoons and too much TV. Now, we’re up against AI-powered algorithms that know exactly how to capture attention, and hold it.

Kids learn through imitation, so when the majority of what they’re exposed to is loud, shallow, or hyper-edited for views, guess what they copy?

It affects how they talk, how they think, what they believe is “normal,” and what they think matters. Likes and followers become currency, identity becomes filtered. Encouraging their imagination, in some cases, takes a backseat.

So… What Can We Actually Do About It?

Look, I’m not going to suggest you ban screens or go live in the woods. That’s not realistic, and honestly, there’s a lot of great content out there too. But there are ways to reclaim control without turning into the “no-fun”, “almond mum”.

Here’s what’s working for us:

Co-watch often: Not always, but regularly. It helps you understand what your kids are exposed to and gives you talking points later.
Talk about algorithms: Even a six-year-old can understand “YouTube is showing you what it thinks you want. That doesn’t mean it’s what’s best.”
Set boundaries, not bans: Create screen-free times (including meal times and 1 hour before bed), and stick to them.
Suggest better content: There is brilliant, creative, inspiring content on YouTube and even TikTok. Recommend some of your own favourites. Curate.
Use tech to protect: Parental controls, screen time limits, content filters, all those tools can help, but don’t rely on them alone.
Discuss digital safety: Not just stranger danger, but privacy, tracking and exposure. As we cover it here, explain why a VPN is needed, even for seemingly innocent browsing, when using public Wi-Fi or shared devices.

Don't Demonise It - Decode It

Let’s be clear: not everything online is bad. In fact, some of the most curious, creative ideas my daughter has come from digital creators. She’s learned to draw, build things with cardboard, and even code a little, all from content that was age-appropriate and surprisingly educational.

The key is context. Instead of saying, “TikTok is bad,” I ask, “What did you think about that video?” or “Would you do that? Why/Why not?” It turns mindless watching into a chance to practice critical thinking.

Teach your kids to be more than just passive consumers. Teach them to decode what they see. Ask questions like:

Who made this video?
Why do you think they posted it?
Is it trying to sell you something or just entertain?

Let Them Be Bored

One of the best antidotes to algorithmic overload? Boredom.

We don’t give our kids enough time to be bored anymore. Every gap in the day is filled with a screen, a game, a show, a scroll, a song. But boredom is where creativity lives. It’s where neurotypical kids imagine, invent and self-direct.

Next time your child says, “I’m bored,” don’t offer the tablet. Let them sit with it. Let their mind wander. That’s how you help them build their own world, rather than just consuming someone else’s.

Finding the Balance Without Losing Your Mind

Okay, I admit it, it's far from easy. I often find myself feeling defeated when my daughter is scrolling through shorts aimlessly.

However, I always try to sit and talk about the things she was watching, and I can see her analysing and questioning what she was seeing. For me, that's a win.

You don't need to win in the conflict. All you need to do is raise a child who can think, not just swipe. Promote curiosity rather than consumption.

Find out how they feel after watching something. Help them understand that likes don't determine their worth and that life extends beyond screens.

And the most crucial part is to not panic and give yourself grace. We're all working this out and experiencing life for the very first time.