I absolutely adore my Baby Boy. From his chubby cheeks to the way he waves his arms and legs in the air when he is on his back. Ok he is a pretty grumpy baby, but even when he is crying I hold him close to me and feel the warmth in my heart. He is my rainbow baby, my last baby and I will take every good moment and treasure it.

With my first baby I was pretty clueless and as an “experienced” mum I still don’t know what to do half the time, but I have a lot more ideas of things to try. The biggest difference is that I’m so much more relaxed about most of it. I don’t rush to change his nappy as soon as he poops, I don’t stress when he won’t go down in his cot and I don’t worry about trying to make sure I’m keeping on top of all the housework because I know that it will wait. I know what is likely to cause harm and what won’t and I know that these days are so short. 

Before I know what is happening my Baby Boy will no longer be a newborn. These little hands that are starting to reach for me and cling on will be playing with toys and eating food.

My Baby Boy just wants to be held, he needs us to be close and I need him to be close too because he is my healing baby, the baby that is helping to fill the gap in my heart, he is my last one. My Baby Boy.

I know the milestones ahead: he is starting to smile, then comes rolling, then sitting, crawling, climbing, pulling up and standing. It’s so easy to leap from one to the next, but with each one my Baby Boy will grow further away from me. For now he is in my arms, I snuggle close to him, I listen to him breathing at night as he spends most of the night cuddled to me. I take time each day to savour this, to treasure these moments we tend to forget, but I hope not to for these are days that won’t come again.