Losing a child during pregnancy is one of the worst things that can happen to a parent, as it can truly tear your life apart. It can be so hard to try and move forward after such a traumatic event, as all of your plans for the future now need to take a totally different path. However, you must find a way to keep going for their sake, as well as for the sake of yourself and your family. There are several steps that you can follow that may help you cope with the loss of a child during pregnancy, guiding you in the direction of hope and happiness in a gentle and supportive manner. If you would like to find out more, then simply read on to uncover some advice that you can use to deal with losing a child. 

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Contact A Grief Counsellor

One of the best steps that you can take to source positive coping mechanisms when dealing with the loss of a child during pregnancy is to contact a grief counsellor. Grief counsellors are specially trained therapists that focus on providing support and advice to those who are mourning, and they often have years of experience assisting those who suffer from severe loss. It's important that you can find the right grief counsellor for you, as each will take their own unique approach to helping you deal with the loss of your child. Don't be afraid to perform research into each potential candidate, checking out reviews left by previous clients to see whether the service may work well for you. You may be able to find detailed feedback that describes the approach a particular counsellor takes, so you can then make a more informed decision when choosing the most suitable therapist. Do not hesitate to change your grief counsellor if you feel the sessions aren't helping you to progress. 

Don't Blame Yourself

No matter what happened, you must not blame yourself for the death of your child. This will not encourage you to heal in any way, and will instead cause your grief to linger as a heavy burden for the foreseeable future. Coming to terms with the fact that some things are out of your control can be extremely tough, but it will help you to find peace. There are many books, lectures and other similar resources that you can utilise to better understand how to divert the blame from yourself, as many people experience loss and feel that what occurred is their fault, but you can learn from and with them to end your guilt. 

Finish Arrangements In Good Time 

Children's memorials can be such a difficult event to arrange, but they may help you to process your loss, especially if it was in later pregnancy. It's something you might want to work on in the months following your loss as it can help you to find closure and leave your negative emotions in the past. A funeral is a chance to celebrate how you felt about the baby and recognise that it was someone special who you carried. This can really help you to feel more content, as you'll be able to think back to happier times in which you had a smile on their face, encouraging you to do the same. A funeral signifies the reality of the situation - though you have lost one amazing soul, you have many others around you that still wish to see you thrive as an individual. Don't be afraid to ask for help and support when arranging your child's memorial service, as it can easily become a little overwhelming. 

Value Your Family 

Making an effort to acknowledge your family and their efforts to support you is vital, try not to use this as an opportunity to isolate yourself by pushing everyone away. Your partner, other children, siblings, parents and any other family members likely value you considerably more than you realise, and they could not imagine the pain of losing you or any other family member, either. Holding them close whilst you still can will allow your heart to feel love and gratitude, helping to fill the void that has been left by the loss of your child. 

Dealing with the loss of a child during pregnancy can be extremely tough, but allowing yourself the time to grieve and follow some of the steps described above can help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Collaborative post by another author. I have written a number of posts about baby loss.