Relationship Advice: 12 Ways to Reignite the Flame with Your SO

(Guest Post) Long-term relationships can sometimes fizzle out. So, for some relationship advice to help you and your significant other rekindle the flame, read on…

No one forgets that feeling you get at the beginning of a new relationship. Everything is exciting, and the future is full of possibilities. You can’t imagine ever being mad at your new love, or even wanting to not be with them.

Because of this, it can be really disheartening when, after a few years, your relationship starts to lose some of that passion. You’ll be glad to know, that you’re not alone; there are many people who feel like they’re drifting apart from, or stuck in a rut with, their SO. As the initial passion naturally subsides, and you become comfortable with your other half, sinking into the routine of your busy life is more than natural.

If you’re concerned about your relationship, and feel like you could use some relationship advice, there are plenty of things you can do. So, if you want to avoid heading to the Essex or Sussex divorce lawyers, then try these top 12 tips for reigniting the flame with your significant other.

A couple cuddling and kissing

1. Find a New Activity to do Together 

A good way to reignite your relationship to avoid a divorce is to recreate the feeling you had when you first started dating. One way to do that is to try a new activity or take up a new hobby with your partner.

At the beginning of a new relationship, couples often try new activities to do together, usually because it is something that the other enjoys. So, why not go out and find something new to try?

It could be something like taking up an art or a dancing class, joining a book club, or even just trying a new restaurant. The most important thing is that you both commit to doing it together.

2. Go on a Short Holiday

Sometimes, removing yourself from familiar surroundings can be a great way to stir up the passion. This is particularly important when your home life is hectic with work, looking after kids, and keeping on top of the bills and the chores. Just one or two nights away from home can help you both to relax and spend some quality time together.

You don’t need to spend lots of money or travel very far. There are lots of great places to stay in the UK, thanks to Airbnb, and some gorgeous secluded hideouts, thanks to Canopy and Stars. Getting away is simply the perfect way to create new memories to cherish.

3. Be Spontaneous

We’re not saying you have to surprise your other half with grand romantic gestures or expensive gifts. Sometimes, the little things are what matter the most. Whether that’s writing a love note and leaving it in their work bag or in their car for them to find, or whipping up their favourite meal when they’ve had a hard day. 

It’s easy to get distracted by day-to-day life and forget to appreciate your partner. So, reminding them that you’re thinking of them every now and then goes a long way. 

4. Re-Create Your First Date

What better way is there to rekindle your relationship than to recreate your first date and to remember those first initial butterflies. Try and go back to the original location, for example the same restaurant, park or beach, and take a trip down memory lane. If you can’t recreate the date exactly, then try and plan similar activities to help you recreate that first date magic.

5. Make Time for Each Other

We get it – life is hectic. Fitting in work, kids, hobbies, exercise, and friends can make it hard work to remember each other. As unromantic as it sounds, sometimes actually scheduling in some quality time is the only way you’ll actually make the effort to do it.

Drifting apart is one of the main reasons for divorce; something which you want to avoid. So, once it’s in both your calendars, try and make it into a routine. Whether that’s a date night once a month, or a kid-free dinner once a week, make sure you put in the effort and stick to it. Carving out the time distraction-free means that you can give your undivided attention to your partner.

A couple having fun together

6. Holding Hands and Hugging

This might sound a bit trite, but there is some science behind the power of touch. When two people hug, it releases a hormone called oxytocin, otherwise known as the ‘feel-good’ hormone. Not only that, but the pressure and the hormone combined creates and strengthens the bonding feeling between two people. 

Skin on skin contact, which is a great way for babies to bond with parents, is great for adults too. This contact helps to release stress and can even help to boost your immune system! So, be sure to keep physical touch a part of your relationship.

7. Workout Together

Couples who workout together, stay together. There may actually be some truth to that. When you do a form of exercise that makes your heart beat faster, your body releases a rush of adrenalin, and the other ‘happy’ hormones called endorphins. Studies have shown that adrenalin increases attraction so, in order to jump start your relationship, you may want to try literally jumping!

It doesn’t need to be a workout in the traditional sense; you could try dancing, going to an amusement park, going hiking or even watching a scary movie. Whatever gets your heart racing will work.

8. Ditch the Tech

There’s nothing more annoying than when you’re talking to someone and they’re busy checking their Facebook account or sending a text. We’re all guilty of it living in a world that’s online 24/7. Being buried deep in emails or watching the latest TikTok craze distracts you from what’s going around you, and stops you from being present in the moment.

This can give your partner the impression that you’re not interested in them. It’s good to get into the habit of having a tech free time each day or even a tech-free room where you can give your undivided attention to what’s happening around you and your partner.

9. Listen to Each Other

While we’re on the subject, you need to actually listen to your partner when they talk, rather than nodding and agreeing distractedly. Something as simple as asking “how was your day?” and then really engaging with what they’re saying can make the world of difference. Facing each other and looking at each other’s faces also helps to be completely present in the conversation.

The more you get into the habit of talking and listening, you may find that it can lead to deeper conversations about your relationship. You may even learn something new about your partner along the way.

A couple on a bike holding hands silhouetted against a sunset

10. Don’t Avoid Conflict – Try to Defuse it

All couples fight at some point; it’s inevitable. But, rather than let it escalate into a full-blown screaming match, try to defuse the tension. If you and your partner disagree on something, try and keep your voice calm and low, and listen to everything they are saying to you. If you feel like you can’t keep calm or not shout, then sometimes physically moving away until you’re calmer can help. 

That’s not to say that you should avoid conflict entirely. Working through problems together builds a healthier and stronger relationship. Couples who don’t work through their issues and bottle it down are more likely to split in the long term.

11. Look After Yourself

The longer you’re in a relationship, the more you think of yourselves as one unit and it can sometimes feel as if you’ve lost yourself along the way. It can be hard to feel attractive or be attracted to someone who has lost their individual identity – after all, that’s what they were attracted to in the first place.

Making time for yourself can be hard, but the rewards are worth it. Whether you use the time to pamper yourself, work on a passion project, or pursue your favourite hobby, having separate interests from your partner can help you to maintain your autonomy and give you different interests to talk about.

12. Seek Counselling

If you’re really struggling, there is no shame in seeking marriage counselling. If you find yourself drifting apart or getting into lots of fights for no real reason, then talking to an impartial third party can help. They can lend you a unique perspective on your marriage, and offer you professional relationship advice and techniques for getting back on track.

Lots of people hit rough patches, and it’s perfectly okay to not be madly in love all the time. Marriage takes work, and if you’re both fully committed to counselling it could be the difference between many more happy years together, avoiding a divorce.

Black and white image on 2 hands on top of each other wearing wedding rings

Ready to Implement This Relationship Advice?

When you start to work on reigniting the flame in your marriage, it’s important to be consistent. Doing any of these things once won’t make a difference; it’s the act of repeating it consistently that will make big changes in the long run. Talk to your partner, and figure out which areas of your marriage could do with a shake-up and start there. 

I hope these tips have helped you to think of some ways to rekindle the flame with your other half. If you have any more tips to add, feel free to comment down below. But, if none of these tips work and you’re finding that nothing can save your relationship, then it might be time to head to the divorce lawyer.

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