Is It Time to Move On from Someone You Love?

Presented by BetterHelp.

Do you love your partner or spouse? This person has been by your side through thick and thin, and has known you through many ups and downs in life. Or maybe you haven’t been together for too long, but are experiencing intense feelings or blossoming love. Love can be an incredible thing to share with another person, but sometimes it can also turn confusing and painful. 

Stock image from canva pro showing a heart shaped jigsaw with some pieces off

Some of us get to a place in our relationship where we wonder, “Is this what I really want for the rest of my life?” or question whether this is the right person for us. It’s actually normal to have these thoughts, and important to spend time reflecting on whether a relationship is really healthy and solid enough to last. 

But if we find ourselves wondering about it quite often, or feeling bad in the company of our partner, we need to take a closer look at whether this is the best thing for us. Read on to learn some of the signs that you should consider moving on from someone you love.

How To Know When It’s Time to End a Relationship

It’s normal for relationships to go through phases of transition, where intimacy fluctuates, the honeymoon stage ends, or challenging external events take place that negatively impact a relationship. These things alone don’t mean that you should walk away from someone you love. 

But there are certain instances where a relationship is toxic, unhealthy, or simply no longer serving your needs in life. To further your knowledge about love and healthy relationships, read some useful articles here. Then continue reading to discover ways to know it’s probably time to end a relationship, despite the love you may have for them. 

You Have Lost All Feelings of Affection and Happiness

Do you find yourself just going through the motions with your partner day in and day out? Have you lost those feelings of contentment, happiness, or affection for them? This often takes place between couples that have been married for many years. Despite being a poor match for each other, they remain together for the sake of comfort, stability, or children. 

It may feel like your spouse is more like your roommate, or even a stranger living in the house with you. You may feel no desire for intimacy, deep connection, or physical touch. If these feelings of emptiness towards them persist for a long period of time without fluctuating, that’s a red flag. 

You Are Being Abused in Any Way

If any form of abuse is taking place in your relationship, it’s probably time to walk away. Many different forms of abuse can take place in a relationship, like physical, emotional, financial, verbal, or sexual abuse. If you’re being abused, you should seek out safety when possible.

There is no excuse for a partner to abuse you, no matter how long you’ve been together or what assets you have tied in with theirs. That kind of behaviour isn’t genuine, healthy love. If you’re experiencing any form of abuse, consider utilising the free resources at The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE).

You Don’t Trust Them or Often Question Their Intentions

Mutual trust between two people in a relationship is one of the foundational elements of a long-lasting, loving partnership. Have you caught your partner lying about important things in the past? Maybe they’ve even been unfaithful to you, or betrayed your boundaries or dignity. 

Without that core trust in your partner to show up for you, be honest, and respect you and your boundaries, the problems that follow will be really hard to overcome. A lack of trust will also make it nearly impossible to operate as a team and work through whatever life throws your way together. If you are unable to trust your partner, you may want to consider whether this is truly the kind of love you desire for yourself.

You’re Looking to Fulfil Your Needs Elsewhere

Many people have needs that they usually fulfil in a romantic relationship, such as building a family, social connection, friendship, vulnerability and communication, and physical intimacy. A relationship can check off so many boxes and allow us to feel loved, seen, and supported. But if we love someone who is not meeting those needs, we naturally begin searching for them elsewhere. 

Do you often find that when you’re going through a hard time, you don’t feel comfortable going straight to your partner for support? Or that you don’t feel physically close to your partner, but still long for that type of connection with someone else? Are you wanting to spend more time with your friends than your partner? 

These are all signs that you’re not getting what you need in the relationship. Just be sure that you’ve properly communicated your needs to your partner, and give them a chance to work on it before deciding you should move on. 

You Have Lost Your Sense of Self

It can be a terrible, jarring feeling to reflect on your relationship with someone and realise that somewhere along the way, you’ve lost your sense of self. You may have developed new bad behaviours or insecurities, or even temporarily lost the qualities you used to love most about yourself. 

If a partner’s influence is causing you to get more distant from your happiest, healthiest self, rather than helping you grow into the best version of yourself, this is a major warning sign that it may be time to walk away. 

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